Krista was sitting on Evelyn's bed, listening. Eric needed Evelyn? What did that mean? Curious, she continued to listen, her extra-sensitive hearing helping her better.
"You...you need me?" Evelyn stuttered, lost. "Why?"
Eric remained silent.
WHACK!
"Ow! What was that for?!" he cried.
"You wouldn't answer me. Now, let me ask again. Why do you need me, Eric? After so long of not talking to me, not coming over, no contact! And then, all of a sudden, you need me?! Why?" Evelyn demanded again.
"Because," he muttered, caving. "Because there is chaos up on Lightning Peak and the know-it-all clairvoyant that lived in a cave up there told me that I needed to seek out the one who was most like me. The one who can possess such power as I do. You were the first one that came to mind. I need you," he repeated.
"When did this 'clairvoyant' tell you this?" Evelyn asked, curious - and wary - of such a person. "And why don't you call her by name?" suspicious of the secrecy.
"I was walking back home after a training session with my Master and she pulled me aside. She told me I mustn't tell a soul, besides the One that this concerns. She never told me her name, so how would I know it?" he told her.
"What help would I be? I don't know a thing about what I can do. I never even practiced!" Evelyn cried, ignoring everything else.
"I can help you. I had a talk with my Master and asked him if I can train my cousin. He said yes, only if I knew for sure that you would be able to handle it. And I'm definitely sure," he said, smiling at her.
"If I were to not help you, what would happen?" she asked him.
"The war at the Peak would end disastrously. Our side would be doomed for centuries, perhaps eternity. You have to help us, Eve. You just have to..." he Eric begged Evelyn.
Suddenly, a calming voice floated across the room.
"You have to do it, baby," Krista said to her.
Evelyn turned to see her coming down the stairs.
"If you don't, we're all doomed. Not just you witches, but also us vampires. And perhaps even the humans. This depends on you, hon. I know you can do it. I sensed the Power seething in your veins. You know, that one night..." Krista trailed off, smiling at the thought.
Remembering that passionate night they shared, Evelyn smiled too. Believing Krista's encouraging words, she turned to Eric.
"Alright. I'll do it. Let's start tomorrow."
After eating their breakfast, they all went outside to witness the beautiful nature around them continue to live their simple lives.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Yea...he was a last minute add on. I didn't really think through his character more until I posted the chapter on here, but I had run out of time to come on until now. I may go over it later though, since I'm in class. I really appreciate the time you're taking to review my story so much!
Once again dear, the devil's in the details. Have the newly entered character describe this "War" more. (By the way, this is not a detail, it's a majorly important plot point!) Describe new character more. Have him reveal key information about their past (Where are her parents, who gave her the house... Does she have any strange tats?) Have the characters describe each other... and for goodness sake, quit changing perspective. It's confusing me.
Good ideas, it just needs to be expanded.